So Thankful, Not Always

 
  Are you thankful?  I am.  Everything I see and do are reflections of God.  I know how He loves me and is working all things together for my good and His glory.  There was a time when I wasn't so thankful.

  Thirty years ago we had a little boy named Charlie.  I knew he was a gift from God, but I just couldn't get myself to receive that he had microcephaly like his older brother, Dom.  We were having endless difficulties with raising one child with so many problems, how on earth were we going to manage two?

  I slipped into a very ungrateful depression, and it happened before he was a day old.  Oh! How I just wanted to put on my shoes and walk away and never look back.  But that is not what good christian women do, so, I stayed.  Ps 127:3 says "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward."  I kept thinking "a reward for what?"

  Of course I didn't 'walk away' but I did nurse a pretty black depression for a number of months.  A little, simple exercise in briefly writing out the reasons I was thankful, broke my depression.  I realized that I was telling myself that I just didn't care, when really, I cared very much.  And by then this little guy of ours had worked his way into our hearts on his our merit.  Our family could never have been whole without him.

 Ps 100:4   Enter His gates
with thanksgiving,
And intoHis courts with praise.
Be thankful unto Him,
and bless His holy name.