Tears in Flood Stage

  The past week has been quite different for us.  We stayed with my daughter as a type of "swing room" for a few days.  She and her husband were wonderful and took care of us till we could get back on our feet.  The grandkids were great, and a fun distraction, yet we could escape at any time to a quiet place and rest or get away from the noise.

  On Friday I awoke with such gratitude in my heart for all the love surrounding me that I could barely stop crying.  I managed for most of the day, however the tears started again on Saturday.  They continued through Sunday, with barely a break on Monday.  The tears finally met their pause on Tuesday.  If truth be told, they were very mingled tears by Sunday.  No longer just tears of gratitude, but also of feeling sorry for myself (which I hate) and tears of jealousy (which I also hate) and tears of overwhelming "just too much."

  Last year it was the broken wrist while having fun with a grandson.  Then I had a bad slip in the shower, breaking my back, and now my rib; and Jim needing major surgery; and his near painless recovery while I had so much pain that breathing hurt!  You bet I was jealous of this smoothe bouncing back to his good old self.   It had been years since I had a really healing cry, so the timing was right, and God's mercy was all over the place.


 Now, with a better perspective and a little embarrassment I am doing fine again.  I have better medicine for the pain and am circling my own wagon here at home.

  Thank goodness that Father's mercies are new every morning!  So great is his faithfulness!

Abnormal Normal/

  This week has been a very different week indeed.  On Holy Saturday evening before I went to bed, I had yet another syncope event and landed hard on the bathroom floor, hurting my left eye orbit, and bruising or breaking a rib in my back.  I think it will not happen  again because I'm getting smarter.  Be slow to rise and quick to sit if I feel anything like I have been.  It always happens very fast., so I must be vigilant.

  Also on Saturday evening  Jim began to have bad stomach pain.  He ended up in the emergency room at 4:30 in the morning on Monday with a burst diverticulum and the beginnings of a nasty infection in his abdomen.  He went to surgery by 8:00 and had a bowel resection.  He is a rapid healer and is leaving the hospital already today, 4/17.  It really amazes me how quickly he bounces back...and how different I am.  It seems my body is slow to shed pain.

  So now we are holed up at our daughters home where her husband has told me, in no uncertain terns, that I am to do no work, only rest and recuperate, and the same will be true for Jim. We will be here for two or three days, until we are both better on our feet.

  Every challenge in life is reason to exult in the opportunutiy God has in front of us to rejoice and be triumphant in Him.  He ALWAYS heals for the Bible says it is already done by the stripes of Jesus.  I know of no other Truth but what God has said.  His Word is always true for He cannot lie.  No matter how much the devil may poke us with his spears and arrows, he never succeeds in the long run.  He cannot win against this provision of the healing blood of Jesus shed for us on the cross.

  So glory to God for His loving provision of a new and living covenant in Christ.  I am so excited.  I wonder what excellence I shall see of Christ and His Body during this time.  Already I am seeing love outpoured and surrounding us in a very tangible way.  This Easter will be one to remember.

 
1Peter 2:24 who himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree,
                    that WE
                    Having died to sins,
                    might live to righteousness
                    By whose stripes  YOU WERE healed1

Governor's New Order

  The governor has called for another month of self containment.  How is that going for everyone?  Being as old as we are, there is a sweet routine that comes with being married for a long time.

  My heart goes out to so many folks, however.  It isn't easy living without a paycheck, having to scramble for a new job,  having to self educate in order to keep school going for the young school aged at home, providing activities for the energetic, stability for the family all the while keeping calm and peaceful in the fluid uncertain times in which we live .   Only with the Holy Spirit can fruit come from this.  Peace in uncertain times breeds peace.  And the Holy Spirit is doing His part.   We must do ours.

   I see folks out walking and being neighborly.  Getting to know each other again because of this self-isolating thing we are all learning.  Even in the midst of social-distancing we are able to help each other out by doing what we can.  

  Romans12:1  Therefore I export you brothers and sisters
                        By the mercies of God,
                        To present your bodies as a sacrifice-
                        Alive, holy and pleasing to God
                        Which is your reasonable service.

The Battery

  On Friday 3/20 I went to AbbotNorthwestern Hospital to get a battery sewed into my chest for the wires from my brain to be hooked up.  I went into that surgery so calm and filled with peace, because I knew Jesus was and is in control, but almost more, because I knew I could sleep through it!  The thing I wasn't prepared for so much is the pain that followed.  Boy did that hurt.

Now, two weeks post-op I am doing pretty well.  The soreness is in control, the staples are out and the incisions are all in good shape.  Jim is still in the homemaking business, and I am just getting back on my feet.  I'm not going to go out and rake any flower beds just yet, however tempting that might be.  The tulips have been liberated from their winter nests and I am eager to clean the beds and see what else Spring has in store for me.

The weather has been so beautiful (until today) and it has been nice to walk.  I am still using a walker for balance, consequently, I don't go very far.  It appears I will be using the walker for some time to come.  Not my favorite, but I do what I must.

Current virus conditions have everybody in the seclusion mode.  We all know friends and relative who are particularly vulnerable, so lets all do our part to live by the guidelines laid down by a caring and concerned Administration.  Praying for those who have compromised immune systems, unemployed, parents at home with small children, school kids needing classroom help, and each other.

Father's love still reigns over all.  He is altogether trustworthy.  He is always and all ways good.  Something good will come of this too.


Romans 8:28 still says " and we know that all things
                                        work together for good
                                        to those who love God
                                        to those who are the called
                                        according to His purpose.
                                       

There is More

   The surgery continued with another CAT scan and x-rays, I believe.  After the boring of holes I was a little foggy over just what was being done ‘cause I was processing all that had happened.  There might have been a wire inserted into my brain before the x-rays, I’m not too sure.  The next big step was the wire.  Once the surgeon was happy that it was placed properly, a couple of nice young women from Medtronic had me do several exercises, saying the days of the week, drawing  a spiral, a signature moving a cup to my mouth as though drinking, all to see how much I was trembling.  

  Once I did the series of movements, they turned the wires on and I repeated the moves.  After a few times the result were satisfactory and the wire was snapped into place and the hole closed off and sealed, after more x-rays.  The change in my movements was remarkable..I went from severe shaking to controlled movements in just a few tries.  

  Modern medicine, although somewhat barbaric, is truly amazing.   Side two was done and snapped in place.  Eventually I was stitched up and the procedure done.  By then however, I could no longer hold back the horrid cough that took hold. Coughing, being able to move, is tricky in the best circumstances, but coughing when head and shoulders are locked in place is truly tough.    

  Post-op was filled with nausea, but finally controlled by around 5:30pm.  I was released the next day to Jim's care and so happy to be home.  My battery surgery was moved up to Friday 20th because of the corona virus.  So I had just a little time to get some rest and recover from the first surgery before I was back to get it finished.  

  

  Romans 8:38  For I am persuaded that neither death nor life 

nor angels nor principalities nor powers 

nor things present nor things to come,

nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing,

shall be able to separate us from the love of God

which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Surgery... Part 2

  Once my scalp was numbed, the doctor made an incision on the top left of my head.  I felt this, but it did not hurt.  He then retracted the scalp so he could reach the skull.  This I felt also, kind of like the stretching that it was.  It also did not hurt, just felt weird.

  The position of my neck during this time was quit uncomfortable.  Although the team tried very hard to reposition me in a way that relieved my neck, it just couldn't be done. It felt like it was crimped in the middle making swallowing and talking difficult, though not impossible.  It also felt like a tickle in my throat was coming on, so I fought against that for nearly the whole surgery.

  Next a hole was drilled in my skull about the size of a nickel.  This is one of the more difficult spots in the 4 hours I was in surgery.  The whine of the drill was quite loud, but the "pop" sound I heard when he broke through the bone was a surprise.  Drilling went on for a very long minute and 45 seconds and then a very loud "CA-RACK" and he was through the bone.  The vibration the drill made was powerful.  I was glad for well rooted teeth.  That was side one, side two was similar.


When all around gives way,
He is all my hope and stay.

More next week.