The Furnace Can Be Good

  Well, have the niggling petty thoughts of dissatisfaction and criticism been well warded off during this extended time in the furnace?  Over time, the fast pace of life and the routine of it all, had left me with some less than comely thoughts, but some of them not so petty.  For example the God given
discontent with my prayer life. Previously I was not satisfied with it.  I thought it shallow and sporadic.  It was not saturating my heart  and mind like I wanted it to.  God was not the front and center of life at all and I dearly wanted Him to be.

  Consequently the thoughts of my heart were not always in keeping with what Father might be wanting for me.  That always led to indescrimanite thoughts and rusty patterns my mind needed to shake off.

  The longer the self quarantine  drags on the more concisely Father is dealing with me to lay it all down and just come to Him.  There I find this furnace of affliction is burning the chaff and stubble and leaving my heart and mind more centered on the One I love the best.  It seems a fresh breeze of the Holy Spirit is blowing all the ashes away and leaving me with a clearer vision.

  So I have come to be thankful for this time of being separated to sit at the feet of Jesus.  He brings prayers to my soul for loved ones, sick ones, needy one, and lost ones.  He brings a fresh worship; a new adoration; a renewed trust in Him.  It is good and I am thankful.

 

 

Perspective

  In the past three days I have been weaned totally of one of my tremor drugs.  Guess what is back in full force.  Yup, the party is over, and I am guessing it will not get any better as I decrease the other one I'm using.  I am very thankful that this did not result in constipation of the brain and diarrhea of the mouth the way my major drug error did.  This is just uncontrolled shaking, so much easier too handle when my emotions don't get in the way.

  That being said, Jim really thought a call to the Dr. was in order to see if we couldn't't have an earlier appointment for a little tinkering with the battery.  My next scheduled is 8th of June.  Not that far off, but it really was nice to be steadier there for a time.  So, I am waiting for a call back from the clinic.  It makes me thankful for just how much the drugs were/are helping.

  Life continues in self isolation, albeit, a somewhat modified one.  Trips to Menards remain regular enough to get us out, and of course the grocery store.  Masks are becoming common and we are getting used to social distancing.  All of this does not seem a hardship to me, especially if we can keep each other from becoming ill.  It is not a pretty thing, this virus.  We know people from or church family who have been hit, but as of yet, no family or neighbors.

  This thing with Co-Vid 19 put so many things back into perspective.  I will certainly not die from Essential Tremor no matter how little I get it treated.  But when so many of our dear older population get struck down, many dying, I am humbled and thankful to be this well.



Continue to cast your cares on the Lord.  He cares tenderly a constantly for you.

 

Shifty Little Devils

  This past weekend my emotions were so fragile!  I was in jeopardy of tears all the time.  Couldn't figure out why so I tried to reason with myself and that was disaster.  That was when the damn opened to my mouth and that is always bad.  Poor Jim.  He handled it like the man he is, gave me a hug, listened, and let the river of tears run off his back.

  Earlier that day I had discovered a huge medication error I had made earlier last week, and was just getting it straightened out on Sunday.  My doctor is reducing two medications at a time, each at different paces.  I got way ahead of myself on one of them, way, way ahead; and had been wrong for four days running.  It was emotional disaster.

  Even as I was crying to Jim about all my perceived troubles, I would get glimpses of my real self.  It is so interesting to me that I even recognized "myself"in the midst of all the turmoil.  Medications can be shifty little devils, even though, sometimes they are the only current solution to the difficulties at hand.  My daughter, a nurse, told me if a person is taking two or more prescription drugs , they are likely to make a drug error every two weeks.  I guess I was making up for lost time.

  I thank God for medical science and the skill of the professionals that have had me under their care. Although Father has done the healing, they have been privileged to tinker with my broken vessel, until balance has been restored.

Jeremiah18:6 "O house of Israel,
Can I not do with you as this potter?"  says the Lord.
"Look, as the clay is in the potters hand,
So are you in My hand, O house of Israel!"